(Disclaimer: this is a little random, but I wanted to put some of my thoughts down on paper (or computer I guess))
Dinosaurs. Their mysterious awe, their primordial existence, their electric lure. I was enchanted by them--almost mythical creatures--throughout my early childhood. The Allosaurus and Brachiosaurus replaced my quintessential girl fascination for dolls. The concept of what had existed before man striked me in a manner brushing Barbie’s hair never could. By kindergarten, I had the narration for dinosaur documentaries memorized, and in first grade I proudly presented my ostentatious collection of fossils to my class in “Show and Tell”...each week (my snowglobe collection didn’t draw as much interest). I spent my afternoons sifting through the forest floor for the imprint of an ancient plant on the face of a stone, deer bones, and arrowheads.
This was my gateway to science. I wanted evidence of the past, but even more so, I craved discovery. Too naive to comprehend the concepts of evolution, I was completely staggered by the notion that dinosaurs changed into pigeons and grass wasn’t always around. While my teachers taught me creationism, I was being fed evolution in small doses with each discovery channel film my elementary-school-self could get a hold of. In third grade, I started taking a general science class with an engaging teacher that was able to articulate my curiosities in a way I could not. Finally I began to learn about what I was truly interested in. My enthusiasm for nature and life became academic and were given strange names like “biology” and “ecology.”
After dinosaurs came parasites. I’d read books that identified species of parasites and watch “Monsters Inside Me” on repeat. It piqued my curiosity that other living things lived inside all of us. Gut bacteria? That’s absurd! I’d stay up at night thinking that Cymothoa exigua would latch onto my tongue. Then I became engrossed with exotic animals and rare diseases. I dreamed of exploring the Amazon, seeing migration in action in Tanzania, and treating "Tree Man" Disease in Indonesia.
My dad used to call me Dr. Frankenstein because I’d scavenge for injured insects and try to “repair” them. Soon it all started to come together. Before my age hit two digits I already knew what I wanted to do with my life: I want to be a doctor! (...and a veterinarian, ecologist, biologist, explorer, and princess).
When my grandpa lost his battle to cancer I was confused. How can we send men to the moon and carry computers around with us in the form of smart phones but not be able to save lives in the face of disease? And that’s when ten year old Kylie decided to cure cancer.
In middle school things picked up pace. I learned about cells. Cells--the foundation of life? How can something so small make me up? This was the beginning to feeding my perpetual curiosity. This was where the answers to my questions lay--in something so small I couldn’t even see it! I was starting to see the bigger picture (or maybe I should say the smaller picture, I suppose). My days of thinking that G-d just put things on this Earth the way he wanted began to diminish with the more science I learned, and the more confused I became. How did dinosaurs just come to be then? Where did humans really come from? If we started off in Africa, how am I here in New Jersey...Pangea who? How can tapeworms manifest in the human body? What creeps down in the deep blue? What is cancer? How does this all work?!
Since then I’ve found more clarity. And in this clarity, I found more chaos. I have learned a lot since my days of trekking through the woods to find a Triceratops and now I have the power and education to ask more questions--hard questions. Thanks to Peddie, I have been able to explore my interest in science by taking rigorous courses with passionate and caring teachers. In digging deeper into the world of science by taking AP Biology and AP Chemistry, I’ve furthered my love for science and intensified my curiosity. I guess I’ll never be satisfied…
...and that’s good. I don’t want to be. Ms. Cozine introduced me to the concept of molecules. Mrs. Terhaar taught me about the phospholipid bilayer. Mr. Sham showed me a jellyfish’s nerve net. Dr. Peretz helped me understand restriction enzymes. Ms. Fraczkowska versed me in kinetics. This all adds up. I carry these lessons with me everyday.
But this is an academic setting. What does this all mean in the real world? How can we harness this to learn more about our world, the universe, and beyond. How can we use this to advance medicine? How can my ten year old self apply this all to find that everso evasive “cure” to cancer?
EXP was an outlet for me to explore the intersection between my personal curiosity and changing the world through science. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity and privilege to accompany such great minds in the lab this summer. Thank you, Dr. Goldstein, for letting this nerdy sixteen year old see science happen. I wish I could have stayed longer.
I studied the molecular nature of prostate cancer through cell metabolism research at the Goldstein Lab at UCLA. This is an experience that I do not take lightly. It was a glimpse into my future, a reminder of my dreams, and an unparalleled educational adventure. I am so fortunate to have been guided down this path by Peddie. Without drawing inspiration from my peers and the help from my teachers, I would not have had such a productive and exceptional summer. It truly surpassed any expectations I ever had!
I was on the frontline. I was surrounded by other driven individuals. I got to talk science everyday (more exciting than it may sound, I promise). And I got to do science myself! Truly a dream come true.
The philosophy behind science allures me most of all. It puts us humans in our place. We are negligent in this expansive universe. Our emotions are the product of chemical reactions and our senses are the result of cellular interactions. Our lives are fragile, pawns in this game called life. But through research, we get to take control--sway fate. Through research, we can better explain “what,” “why,” “where,” “who,” and “how” we are--and everything else is—from a grain of sand on the beach to the distant stars. I want to unlock these secrets.
Writing this blog post makes me laugh a little. I’d like to think I’ve changed since kindergarten. But after reading this over, I guess I really haven’t. I have the same dreams and desires as my younger self. I have the same passion and ambition (with hopefully less naivete) and am more capable of shaping my own reality. My future is no longer in the distant horizon. Its here, its now, and I’m excited to see where I take it!
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